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  • Alex Robshaw

From my Kundalini Residency journal ॐ I need to be okay about being alive ॐ Part 7

The following words are directly transcribed from my personal Kundalini Residency journal.


March 14th, 2021

I see it. I saw it. I saw the snakes. The snake and the snake and the 8 heads of the snake, and now everything feels real and makes sense and is perfectly aligned. I'm gonna own my own venue. Ma propre salle de spectacles. Je vais avoir ma propre salle de spectacles avec EF, mon chum. On va avoir notre projet ensemble, parce qu'on n'aura pas d'enfants. On va avoir une salle de spetacles et un studio/temple/space and our home above and our speakeasy for the musicians and indie music people of Montreal. We're gonna have all that. Together.


Ganesha. I asked him to help me today, and he cleared the way to make me believe that my love could be true. That my love is true. That I can believe things will be good for us.


March 15th, 2021

Meeting with Clearlight. Perfect. She said You'll know when you'll have found the right teaching when you'll feel like you've come home. That's what happened with Kundalini. I felt like I came home. Ok.


Meet-up session - March 17th, 2021 - Notes

Kundalini yoga is not a practice as much as a commitment.


March 18th, 2021

What if I was just that. Just who I am. No needing to do anything. Just be the daughter of these musicians. Whatever! Just do whatever I want with my life. Whatever!

Go beyond-> don't think anything is hard. I wanna open a place up. Just do it. I wanna record a new album. Just do it. I wanna go to Mauritius. Just do it. It's like, whenever I wanna do something, there's this thing inside me taking over and making it all so hard! How about that stops? How about everything just becomes easy? How about: make everything easy. Everything is super easy to do, all the time. I do anything. I can do anything. I am able to do anything. I do anything.


March 21st, 2021

Just realized how the protection mantra is repeating itself over and over again in my head since yesterday, and this is creating a shield from the monsters in my head. I can feel the bad thoughts coming, but then the mantra echoes in and supplants the voices. Wow!


March 25th, 2021

Night before was practice for lungs and heart. Woke up at 3am with big pain in chest. Did Reiki, helped, and ended up doing spinal flexion really fast in bed (mostly hips/bum) and eventually felt better.


March 27th, 2021

Spoke my truth and spoke THE truth to E just now. People tell themselves lies, and believe those lies in their heads. It's important to be a voice of truth.

The truth we are will not always be accepted, and people will choose lies over truth, certainly because lies often 'feel easier' (truth is hard; truth often means you're wrong and have to work on that. Truth exposes reality, and it exposes lies).

*

So we're basically doing sex movements, igniting the receptors of creative force inside us. When we do these movements in sex, we engage in divine creation. Such is the way of our bodies, such is our nature. When sex is pure and love and free and safe, we are truth, our truth -we are who we are and nothing else. And then the creative energy is free to release herself in its full incarnate ecstasy: the full divine creative power of the divine creators that we are.


March 31st, 2021

So, Shakti-Ma basically comes out in moments of perfect freedom?

*

Chanted Asato Ma 108 times just now. First time. I got very very hot at first, then I cooled off. I started to actually sing and that fully opened my heart and my throat, solidifying the sushumna. At the end, I could really see J bowing to me in namaskaram, in my mind's eye.


It made me feel very god to sing -to let my voice take over and sing herself loud and true. She's missing that a lot. I am. I am. I was missing my voice. Now I have it again Now I know it truly belongs here, in me, inside, and so do I. So much love!


April 1st, 2021

Day 2 of chanting Asato Ma 108x. All the people from O came along, and a bunch of random people too -all those who are open and need to release themselves from suffering. At the end, I saw a red line at my 1st eye and I saw my boyfriend and someone else who might be JM who were on the left, and on the right there were all the other people I saw in my mind's eye who had received the mantra. Weird. Does my boyfriend want to be healed? Maybe not. Maybe so! Who knows!

*

I'm thinking a lot on the times Shakti-Ma came out of me and I got negativity/violence/rejection/shame/abandonment for it. For her. It's disgusting.

FREE THE GODDESS!

It was her pain I carried, ultimately.



#kundalini #kundaliniyoga #kundaliniyogamontreal #rise

#exploringkundalini #montrealkundaliniyoga #evolution

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